I have Youth in Revolt memorized.
Ram dam twelve. Sizzle mop. Crunch down. Safety net. Hot! Hot! Hot! Void.
These are my ingredients.
"
What men mean when they talk about their “crazy” ex-girlfriend is often that she was someone who cried a lot, or texted too often, or had an eating disorder, or wanted too much/too little sex, or generally felt anything beyond the realm of emotionally undemanding agreement. That does not make these women crazy. That makes those women human beings, who have flaws, and emotional weak spots. However, deciding that any behavior that he does not like must be insane — well, that does make a man a jerk.
And when men do this on a regular basis, remember that, if you are a woman, you are not the exception. You are not so cool and fabulous and levelheaded that they will totally get where you are coming from when you show emotions other than “pleasant agreement.”
When men say “most women are crazy, but not you, you’re so cool” the subtext is not, “I love you, be the mother to my children.” The subtext is “do not step out of line, here.” If you get close enough to the men who say things like this, eventually, you will do something that they do not find pleasant. They will decide you are crazy, because this is something they have already decided about women in general.
"Lady, You Really Aren’t “Crazy” (via sparkamovement)
I’m reblogging this because I want to remember it. ELIZABETH OF THE FUTURE - HEED THIS. I LOVE YOU.
(via treesahquiche)
I would be your best employee ever.
BECAUSE I AM SO INCREDIBLY DESPERATE. I WILL SCRAPE MUD OFF OF YOUR BOOTS JUST TO ENTERTAIN YOU. I WILL STARE AT A BLANK SCREEN FOR 10 CONSECUTIVE HOURS, IF THAT’S WHAT YOU NEED. TOILETS! I’LL CLEAN THEM! I’LL UNCLOG THEM! I WILL DANCE AROUND THEM! I WILL DO ANYTHING TEDIOUS, BORING, GROSS, STINKY, EXHAUSTING, MONOTONOUS, HUMILIATING, OR OTHERWISE UNDESIRABLE. AND I WILL DO IT WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE. I WILL ARRIVE ON TIME. I WILL TALK ABOUT THE DEDICATION TO TEAMWORK AND COMMUNICATION THAT YOUR CORPORATION EXEMPLIFIES AND I WILL SOUND SO SINCERE YOU WILL FEEL LIKE YOU JUST WENT TO ONE OF THOSE CHURCHES ON THE TV. I’LL SAVE YOUR SOUL! I WILL MAKE YOUR WORKPLACE A HAPPIER, MORE BEAUTIFUL PLACE. I WILL GET ALONG WITH EVERYONE. PLEASE. I AM NOT EVEN DUMB. I AM SO GOOD AT FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS. PRO. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. MOLD ME. USE ME. PAY ME THE TINIEST AMOUNT. YOU COULD EVEN FORGET TO PAY ME SOMETIMES. I DON’T CARE. DO. NOT. SEND. ME. BACK. TO. OHIO.
